Should women finance their boyfriends?

I feel like this is a broad topic which is quite sensitive because people have different beliefs when it comes to gender-oriented discussions.

But we’re going to discuss it anyway. So Edgar Obare posed a question on his Instagram story in regards to men who are financially dependent on women. Is it okay? What are your experiences?

The post

A lot of women were quick to respond sharing their personal experiences with such men.

Before I delve into their responses, I’d like to acknowledge the fact more and more women are becoming hustlers and even breadwinners.

It is easier for ladies to get employed soon after graduation as compared to men. More men than women tarmac for years before having a job to sustain them.

I also think men only ask for financial help if they really have hit a rough bump once in a while.

But asking for money from your girlfriend every now and then? Unacceptable!

Real-life experiences

Some of the responses were as follows;

Sending money to a guy is just a no! I dated a guy for three years and for two and a half years I funded him. Only to come and realize that I was funding him and his then-girlfriend…

Honestly speaking, two and a half years? I wonder what kind of excuses this guy gave all this while. Because he must have been a master at it.

I had a bf too, we were both in uni but this guy asks for cash every time. Weed money, lunch money, sometimes he says he wants to buy shoes, movies, etc. When I go to his place I have to buy food and everything hadi nilipe stima. I got tired and nikajitoa…

As a university student, where do you get money to finance your boyfriend? You’re being financed by your parents sis, or helb then go ahead finance a boy?

The biggest reason I’m single btw and doing my thing. I had a guy who would ask for money from me to an extent for his friends. Foolish me I would give him juu I was being a nice girlfriend. Mind you this guy never spent a penny on me. I stick to the saying that never let a man know you have money.

A broke boyfriend hanging out with a broke squad. And they all depend on you!?

The responses were numerous but I used the few up there so you could see a pattern. So there seems to be a breed of men who ask for money consistently but do not return the favor.

My thoughts…

Here are my two cents:

As a woman before lending or giving money to your boyfriend, regardless of his reasons consider this; Has he tried to get a job to get the money he needs? Has he tried to get the necessary certificates or education to make him more marketable in the workplace? Is this money for basic living expenses or an emergency? You have to really look at the bigger picture and the character of the individual.

Furthermore, what is he contributing in return? How long has he been your boyfriend? Is it a habit he has? Does he return the money whenever he borrows? Has he tried other sources like family? If he is so broke, what is he offering you? If the family declines to help him why should you?

Careful…I’m not saying that you shouldn’t help your boyfriend. Do it absolutely but beware not to be exploited, used, or abused! Like one response read; I helped this guy financially all the time to an extent his mom started borrowing money as well (bila shame and we were not even married.)…

Finance him or not?

Do not give money to a person you are not married to! Because if he walks away with debts you can’t file for divorce and force him to split up the assets. You just gave away your money, and he can do whatever he wants. Right?

Dear men, hustle hard, and work hard. So you stop being financially dependent on your partners, it is uncouth and makes you appear less of a man. You’re the provider so step up into that space. Provide! Whether she’s making more money than you or not.

Ladies when you give your boyfriend money you’re allowing him to not grow up and be responsible. Do you know that? There’s nothing such as I was giving him money in the name of love. Let men be men! Do not finance them! But it is all up to you. Good luck.

By Wanjiru Mbaru.

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2 years ago

I know, but for me it would be such a turn off .. I guess the only reason is that I would only date marriage material (so I don’t waste my own time) and I need some level of contribution. Temporary rough patch, no problem. But I want him to be the breadwinner one day because I cannot add that work to the other burdens of giving birth, raising the kids, cooking, etc. If I do all those things, he should at least provide the funds.

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