By Baba Mboga.
You’re probably a victim of poor sex-ed if you relate to this:
You’re watching the news with family in the evening as a kid
And this comes up:
What do you do?
A. Watch on and give commentary after.
B. Turn over and pretend you were asleep.
C. Stare on at the screen while your insides scream from the cringe.
D. Pretend to be really interested in the settings on your phone.
If you’re anywhere in a red-blooded African home, you can relate to the term “tabia mbaya.” that was never really clear in your head.
Then years later, you lose your v-card and right after you’re like…
Let’s state facts:
We normally don’t think about the importance of sex-ed in the family.
And it’s really bad considering that like every day people are getting pregnant
I mean it’s not bad…
…As long as these people don’t happen to be minors.
Picture the scenario:
“Since the pandemic hit, 20,828 girls aged between 10 and 14 years have become mothers while the older girls aged between 15-19 years, 24,106 are either pregnant or mothers already.” – CGTN Africa“
But why is this happening?
Especially in Africa?
Even talking about pedophilia in social circles is frowned upon.
All it takes to stop such numbers from even being present is simple.
Talk about it.
By it I mean sex-ed.
We all know this but we tend to shy away from such conversations with our kids.
Why exactly is it so weird in African homes?
Breaking it down…
The birds and the bees is a conversation we all cringe to have.
Here’s a little known fact:
“Talking about sex arouses sexual feelings. A kid just beginning to burst with all sorts of sexual feelings will be embarrassed as those feelings arise during a talk with his parents.” -When good kids have sex
Another common opinion emphasizes that by bringing up this conversation is like inviting them to question and explore. Something that might get them pregnant in the long run.
Think of it this way.
What if you went to driving school and your instructor told you that they reeeeeally wanted to teach you how to use brakes but they couldn’t.
They were afraid you’d want to start crashing into things.
That’s how you sound speaking against sex-ed being introduced in our curriculum.
But you’re here to change the narrative right?
That’s why you clicked the link.
So I just might help you out.
Give you the hows and whys of probably the most dreaded conversation next to “We need to talk.”
When to give sex-ed.
As early as they can start processing speech.(About 2 years or so).
A lot of you believe that it’s too early.
You’ll probably be teaching them to say those cute things kwa wageni or how to pray.
How hard is it to introduce sex-ed?
You could use the actual terms or euphemisms like “susu” ,”dudu”
And make it clear that no one should touch these areas.
Casually weave it into conversation each day.
At around 5 years specialists recommend bringing up the concept of childbirth or so…
Questions like “Mummy mbona tumbo yako ni kubwa ivyo.” might have popped up by then.
It is important not to lie
I can’t really speak on a script for every parent because each child has their own development curve.
I will leave you this though:
“The amount of detail one goes into really depends on how much you think your child can comprehend.”- Today’s Parent
Importance of sex-ed
Most parents take an “Autopilot” approach to sex- education
“Watajulia tu mbele.”
And we say to them “Usifanye tabia mbaya kama yule mtoto wa nanii utuletee aibu.”
I mean with pop culture and music treating sex as fun and adventurous,
I’m not really surprised when I see the statistics that are out here at the moment.
When KFCB is out here banning music videos you have to wonder:
Shouldn’t we talk about sex with kids before it’s awkward?
And that way they’ll know how to process and deal with music videos when they see them.
Because let’s face it,
This is just the tip of the iceberg as far these videos are concerned.