Like most of the others this is also about love
By Baba Mboga.
This one certainly isn’t for the faint hearted…
But again, this is an article with no particular layout in mind.
I mean sure, this might not be a planned piece but I guess it came in highly requested…
…By one person (Props to Dade!)
So if this article struck too close to home.
You are probably here because:
A. Your guy/girl who really isn’t your companion for whatever reason (The “whatever” being the main person in the triangle.
B. You’re into open relationships.
C. You’re in a relationship with someone, your honeymoon phase is over, and someone else just popped into the picture.
So let’s talk about it…
But before I do, I think I should highlight a few facts before I give my opinion:
There is a difference between love and well…
The gist is simple but doesn’t really pop out as much.
Especially if you’re the one involved.
I always say infatuations are like ummmh…
Remember in highschool when you burnt a strip of Magnesium?
Burn bright fade fast?
Here’s a video incase you didn’t get the concept.
You see with infatuations,
You never really see any wrong in the person in question and everything they do is just perfect.
And more times than not lust is mostly involved.
For example, ever thought you liked someone, you tossed the sheets with them and suddenly they’re not as attractive anymore?
I really believe Western media has really shaped our perception of love in the wrong way.
Love to most of us is a “feeling.”
Allow me to burst your bubble for a sec.
Again this is my thought process so to each their own
You see, love is more expression than feeling.
Reminding yourself about what you like about this other person with all their flaws.
“To have watched another human blowing their nose or picking their teeth or something equally disgusting and quietly thinking to oneself… “Oh fuck, I’ve fallen in love with you, haven’t I?”…”
Sure, the initial attraction can be there,
And this is what leads to love in the first place.
We just wake up one day,
Like how much we have in common with the other person while trying to hide your fears and insecurities…
….also forgeting that they too are doing the same.
Then slowly, we open up and one day decide in our brains…
“Hey, I still like you despite your childhood trauma and insecurities about how you look.
And hopefully as long your pros always outweigh your cons… and I don’t get bored with you, we can have children and argue forever after about gender roles and who left the toilet seat up.
Fast forward to barely 2-3 years later when the honeymoon phase wears off and he’s acting like an ass and sleeping with younger women from Instagram.
And for some weird reason you think that your cons have started to outweigh the pros.
The major con according to you in this case being gaining a few KGs.
So you start hitting the gym, getting crap from Omoshollas Palace in an attempt to keep him when the problem isn’t really you,
And just when you’re almost at your end,
You see another him.
He’s a younger guy,
Probably broke, killer bod, likes older women and praises those love handles your hubby told you were too sweaty.
He adores you,
Or at least he says he does.
And the saax…
All Baba watoto does these days is flop around like a walrus with his newly-acquired belly, roars in ecstacy and goes to sleep without half a damn about you.
But this other him (let’s call him Kevo) is different…
So there you are… waiting for Baba watoto to come correct.
You love him.
Of course you do.
He’s the father of your children and till death do you part.
But what about this other Kevo guy from JKUAT that you often meet up with in his dingy bedsitter in Juja?
He awakened a spark you thought died off a long time ago and for the first time…
You think that you might be in love with someone else.
So you do what any normal person would do…
And you come across an article by one anonymous writer inder the moniker “Baba Mboga.”
You read his title and since it reasonates with you,
You quickly scroll down to this subtopic because Baba watoto ako karibu kutoka bafu:
The pros and cons theory in love.
I’m almost done here,
Don’t get your panties in a bunch lol.
So this theory is quite simple and is used everywhere in life.
Write down the pros and cons.
What you like about them against whst you don’t like,
If you’re putting in way too much than you’re getting,
Learn to swallow the pill and fold.
Your blood pressure will thank you for it.
Sure, it’ll hurt when you think about it.
But nothing beats peace.
Peace is happiness,
And happiness comes from preservation of self-value.
Rather than being skeptical about who you give this power to,
Why don’t you rather not give it to anyone at all?
Travel, read a book, hook up with whoever you bloody want to (sheathed up of course)
Be great and inspire.
Because once you find happiness in yourself and know what you want in life then everything else becomes a blur…
If you still think I clickbaited you into reading this here’s a summary so you don’t go yapping in the comments:
- If the cons outweight the pros bounce.
- If you’re in an abusive relationships and the other dude makes sense bounce.
- If you feel like you can keep both… take the moral high ground and date the one with more money…
Jk jk. What I mean is do what works for you.
You don’t need a blog to tell you what to do with your life.
You do need one however to direct you to my Instagram…
…and my other story on cheating.
Ishini na adabu,
“Life ni moja”