“As one of the strong women my man must be tall, dark, handsome”
Pedrosa’s Tinder bio read.
She continued,
“No baby mama drama, he must smell nice, kiss good, have a good job/ business, have a fit body, dress nice, drive a nice car, be generous, a good education”
“Also… It wouldn’t hurt if he was famous and had good dyeq,” She giggled at her weird thought.
She sniffs her 3 week old bra that probably only saw soap after Gikosh as she swipes right on a Tinder profile of Ted, your “typical moneyed entrepreneur.”
***
….Meanwhile, Ted laughs as he swipes right for the seventy fourth time.
He’s got a couple of suits in his crib in Umo that he likes wearing for the gram.
He laughs… as he thanks the Lord for Tinder plus.
Unlimited right swipes for him,
And with profile pics from Marto’s crib in Kilimani….
He knows he’s gonna be laying pipe on a schedule.
Si Marto alikwama Germany vile Covid ilianza akaniachia nyumba?
His train of thought is interrupted as an animation pops up indicating that he matched with some chille called Pedrosa from Ngong.
He copy pastes a corny Googled joke that he uses on most of his Tinder introductions and waits for the reply.
“If I play my cards right, I may gerrit by next week.” he thinks out aloud.
Welcome to a typical Baba Mboga article. (You’re welcome by the way)
We all know these people
I mean sure.
You didn’t write all of that on your Tinder bio
But lets be fucking honest for once, ey?
Men are really simple creatures,
I for example, just need 5 things.
Peace, Compatibility of values, attractiveness obviously and I don’t know,
Someone who gets my sense of humor (it’s really weird btw…)
And finally a little edge.
Not too much drama but a little spiciness to keep life going.
I can really say that I represent more than half of the average guy population.
And really, it’s not because I have lower standards or anything.
I’m just realistic in my expectations.
Yup… I said it.
Women are ridiculous in their dating expectations these days.
Let’s break it down, shall we?
I mean… yeah sure,
Let’s break it down.
Can we define what tall is?
6 inches and above?
Now, How many tall people are there in the world?
“How much percent of worlds population is taller than 6 feet?
14.5% of the US is over 6ft and around 10–15% of the world.”
Let’s use 15% for stats
So that slashes about 85% of all guys right?
Right.
So among the 15% left we have to separate them between nationalities i.e all tall men in the world can’t all be in Kenya etc etc.
Still look at imprisonment/financial status /education levels and all that pish posh you put on your Tinder in the name of “standards.”
Alsoooooo add the fact that you’re competing with a shit ton of other women.
And even after beating all these odds successfully,
Are you willing to bet that the dude you’re left with actually likes you back?
Here’s why it rarely works for women…
“After looking at all these lists for my clients, I concluded that people weren’t looking for a husband/wife. Rather they were looking for this list of qualifications that had to do more with ego, invalidation; it wasn’t about love”
-Rebecca Lynn Pope, Reknown matchmaker
It gets worse for women that have made strides in developing themselves because rarely do you find a woman dating a man that is on a lower league than her eg,
How many women do you actually know with a masters degree that have dated a man on a lower educational level than you?
It’s 35 minutes past my post time so I think you have a glimpse of what I mean.
I’m worn out and my cat needs food so imma dip.
Should I continue with this story or hop on to a new one on the same series?
Hit me up on Instagram or drop a comment.
There’s a rating too if you can spare a minute.
Here’s a random video from the internet.