WHY DO YOU DO WHAT YOU DO?

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A 0440 thought train by Baba Mboga… or teabag or whatever name they gave me on the interwebs…

#4:40 am, 29th May.

The human mind is… well,

Cryptic to say the least.

I know this might not make sense…

I’ll actually feel happy for you (and myself) if it does.

Just raw, unfiltered thoughts…

It’s alright if this doesn’t sit right with you.

Or if you don’t get what my point is,

Kaa uko sawa niko sawa,

Kaa hauko sawa niko sawa pia.

Right?

Yeah sure… you might get triggered and probably want another apology

Why do we even do those?

You know… when that guy who passes a specific threshhold of followers messes up because hey,

That’s what humans do…

But that’s besides the point.

.

.

.

.

Let’s examine how triggers work,

Maybe go into a little something we call Shadow work.

“Did he just say shadow work.”

“At 4:49 AM?

“Ndevu worshipper he is…

cancel him.”

The “toxic womanist” in my head says…

Fingers hovering above the report button.

“Yeah yeah… don’t get your panties up in a bunch.”

I say back.

“Freedom of expression is still a valid right in 2021?

Yeah?”

Just 5 minu….

Ok 10…

…Ok

…. I don’t know how long it will take me to write this but JUST CHILL.”

Let me do my thing, ok?

The idea of explaining complex thoughts simply…

Hard small kidogo.

Even teabags need time to spread their toxic teabaggery into a clean cup of warm water.

So just sit back, be patient and try to trust me,

The blindfolded driver in this little taxi we’re in.

Shadow work.

“Without a shadow, there can’t be a substance.”

-Allan Watts.

Society.

Good old society,

It’s what moulds us,

We are born into it,

Mostly live by it.

And for some weird reason,

Get lynched by if we don’t play by its code of ethics, ideologies and rules for some reason (the rules are confusing… you don’t even wanna know)

So where were we?

You see, society is like Omni-Man.

Teaching you how to use the power he gave you one moment and knocking your teeth off in the next at the slightest hint of resistance.

It all depends on if you play by their rules.

Sure…

Who the fuck would want to be Mark at this moment?

No one in their right mind exactly…

At least not in a normal situation.

But what is “normal?”

You see,

Normal is a societal construct.

What is generally considered right right now might not be right in the next ten years,

Right?

I mean think about it.

Casual sex/ hookup culture,

Dihoriing around,

BANGI.

LGBTQ

BBI.

OK… That was uncalled for.

But I just had to…

Am I forgiven?

Have my prior statements been declared null and void?

Didn’t think so.

OK…

OK…

I’ll try be serious for once in my life.

*cue music* (you can play this as you read along…

assuming you don’t get an ad from a loan app,

Glovo or a random land company telling you how cheap they can sell you an acre at location X

Which again depends on your “value” (read socio- economic status).

I’m getting carried away now.

Here’s that music you wanted.

It helps me focus too.

The shadow.

“Man has developed consciousness slowly and laboriously, in a process that took untold ages to reach the civilized state. And this evolution is far from complete, for large areas of the human mind are still shrouded in darkness.”

-Carl Jung.

It’s far too many times when on a random day you turn on your TV and see a story on the news about a man that killed their spouse (or vice versa),

Your local priest toying with a little lad against their code of ethics,

The all too popular pastors kid that went rogue as soon as they sniffed their ID for the first time

And you fail to conceive how such someone in their right mind would do such a thing.

In their right mind .

Again I ask you… what constitutes right and wrong?

Is it not the rules laid down by those before us?

And the people before them?

If you run up the chain you’ll notice that these all boiled down to rules/agreements that people probably jotted down or verbally agreed on in the past,

These rules were handed down from generation to generation.

Some modified, some removed,

And most people had these rules indoctrinated into them as children,

Because face it,

Tradition.

Now, as a direct result of tradition,

Most of us have repressed traits at one point in their life.

Traits we hid behind a mask due to societal expectations,

Our fears, our prejudices, our kinks, hobbies, actual interests in life,

Basically basic characteristics that make us ourselves,

Or “whole” so to say.

***

After observing most of his patients, reknown Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung made a conclusion that the traits that we cast away in ourselves never really go away,

They just get tucked away in our subconscious mind…

The more we repress, the more we cultivate an unconscious entity called “the shadow.”

British writer and philosopher Alan Watts compared this to a piece of embroidery.

As much as the inner stiching on a sweater might not resemble the stitching on the outside of the sweater, it heavily dictates the shape of the outer stiches (the ones we see on the outside…)

*to be cont*

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Anonymous

…..to be continued.

I am here for it.

Anonymous

You are deep and smart. I love your brain.

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