A resurfaced interview by gospel singer Betty Bayo has brought new attention to Betty’s past relationship with Pastor Victor Kanyari. In the video, Betty speaks openly about how they met, how their relationship unfolded, and why they separated, citing issues such as stinginess, avoidance, nonchalance, and a meddling mother-in-law.
Betty said she first met Kanyari when she was 23, after performing at his church. After the service, they did not interact, but he called and asked to see her again the following Monday. At the time, Betty was dating another man whom she described as disrespectful. Her friendship with Kanyari grew naturally from their conversations and later turned into a romantic relationship. He eventually met her mother, and soon after, she fell pregnant with their first child.
A Boundaryless Nonchalant Partner
Betty soon moved in with Pastor Kanyari in a “come-we-stay” arrangement. She was surprised to find that he lived with up to seven of his church members at a time, both men and women.
The singer lamented the lack of boundaries and privacy. She said some of the women would walk into their bedroom at any time, even at 1 a.m., and that they, being very devoted to Pastor Kanyari, would even choose the clothes he should wear.
Betty also complained that Pastor Kanyari was so busy with his church activities that she rarely got to discuss anything with him. Sometimes, even speaking with him felt like it had to be by appointment. She described him as very nonchalant.
Naturally, their relationship became strained due to frequent misunderstandings. The tension grew, and she eventually left their home while pregnant and returned to live with her mother. Though Pastor Kanyari did not make much effort to get her back, his mother convinced Betty to return.
Betty recounted that when she finally returned home, Pastor Kanyari simply said, “So you are back,” and continued with life as if nothing had happened. He did not ask why she had left while pregnant or what had been troubling her, a reaction she described as very nonchalant.
One incident made matters worse. Pastor Kanyari asked Betty to accompany him for a site visit. During the drive, he accused her of driving away the female flock in his church simply by being in his life.
Kanyari became so irate that, on the way home, he drove his Range Rover into the back of a PSV bus. When he stepped out to inspect the car, Betty stayed inside. The accident attracted a crowd.
Betty, dressed in shorts, was petite compared to the heavyset Pastor Kanyari. Some bystanders began whispering loudly, accusing her of being a woman who destroys families. She says Pastor Kanyari refused to defend her and acted as if he did not know her. Afraid the confrontation might escalate, she called her sister to bring her a leso and used the opportunity to leave and return home.
When she returned, matters escalated further. Pastor Kanyari accused Betty of wanting to harm their child, deepening the conflict between both families.
Another source of tension was that Betty rarely attended Sunday services. She explained that this was understandable since, as a gospel singer, she was often booked to minister in other churches. She also felt uncomfortable attending his services because he sometimes put her in awkward situations where she had to lie. She recalled one occasion when he was preaching and claimed they had been in an accident but escaped unharmed. He then loudly asked Betty if it was true. Although it wasn’t, she could not publicly deny it while on the spot.
A Meddlesome Stepmother
Betty recalls that Pastor Kanyari’s mother once more intervened. She offered her KSh 30,000 per week to attend church services. Although the amount was sizeable, she refused, choosing instead to continue ministering through her music.
This angered Kanyari’s mother, who then forbade him from giving Betty any money. As a result, Betty said she rarely received financial support from her husband, who claimed his mother did not allow it.
A Stingy Man vs. a Generous Betty Bayo
Betty also admitted that throughout their relationship, she was mostly the one giving Kanyari money, including KSh 1 million at one point. Yet he would leave only about KSh 1,000 for a week’s shopping. She estimates that the total money he ever gave her during their relationship did not exceed KSh 100,000.
She also said that whenever she hired a househelp to help with her daughter, Pastor Kanyari would pressure the women to work in his church instead. At the time, he was running his “KSh 310” scheme and could easily tempt them with quick money.
With a meddlesome mother-in-law and a nonchalant husband, Betty fell into depression. The stress and misunderstandings became too heavy, and she eventually left him, rented her own apartment, and started life independently.
However, Pastor Kanyari would sometimes stay at her place—where she paid all the bills—returning to his house only to shower or change. Eventually, Betty grew dissatisfied with this arrangement and asked him to leave.
Public Scandal and Its Impact
Things worsened when Pastor Kanyari’s “KSh 310” scandal emerged. Betty says she had no knowledge of it, but the public blamed her by association. She was accused of benefiting from her husband’s illegal activities, which she denied. To the public, she was guilty by association. Her brand deals and performance invitations were canceled, and she became so broke that she had to sell her car.
During this period, Kanyari, shaken and depressed by the scandal, turned to Betty for comfort. It was during the comforting of her partner that Betty Bayo she became pregnant with their second child. Feeling trapped, broke, and judged, she left for the UK at five months pregnant, hoping to find work in a place where public condemnation would be less. She gave birth to their son there.
A few weeks later, Betty returned home with her savings and gave them to Kanyari’s mother to help complete a construction project. However, his mother dismissed the gesture, saying the money was not exactly needed. Heartbroken, Betty drove home to Kanyari. He had organized his employees to welcome her with songs, but once alone, he remained distant and nonchalant. He refused to discuss anything or ask how she was feeling.
That same night, Betty told him she wanted to go home. He did not ask what was wrong or try to convince her to rest. He simply opened the door and helped her leave. Heartbroken, Betty returned to her mother’s house.
In the interview, Betty spoke honestly, not with anger. She described a relationship that began with friendship and hope but later became painful and unstable, one that left her so depressed she felt she had to separate just to survive.
Betty Bayo stated that when she left for good in 2015, Pastor Kanyari and his mother initiated a smear campaign. But by the grace of God, she came out stronger.
After her passing, Pastor Kanyari expressed grief and said he still loved her deeply, adding that she died before he could open up to her about certain things. However, close family sources say he was not informed about her illness due to their difficult history.
Meanwhile, Kanyari has been very vocal about his grief, while Betty’s calm and present husband, Tash, whom she married in 2021 has chosen to mourn privately.
In the end, everyone grieves in their own way, whomst are we to judge?
By Vivian K.