Former award-winning gospel artist L-Jay Maasai finally resurfaced the social media streets after a long break.

The singer took to his Facebook page to inform his fans why he has been missing in action for so long. I bet you probably even forgot about him, right?

So in the long caption Maasai admitted that it was difficult for him to open up. Because he didn’t know how his post might affect him or his career. But he went ahead anyway

It is VERY DIFFICULT for me to sit and write this because I do not know of the reputation it will bring towards me both in my personal life and as a public figure. However, after taking time off it has been many weeks of thinking and reflecting. I have really struggled to nurse myself through a long period of DEPRESSION and confusion over my life and career. He began.

I lost everything, L-jay

The musician disclosed that while he was fighting depression, he lost people he thought were friends. And also lost his drive and motivation as nothing made sense to him. He admitted that he turned to drugs to relieve anxiety and stress. Maasai went on add that he battled suicidal thoughts and nearly lost his life.

Yes depression is real, and I am not going to be afraid to say or talk about it because I’ve almost lost my life. I have had suicidal thoughts and even took it to intoxication to releif stress and anxiety.

I have lost many that I believed were my true friends mainly because I was no longer in the same status as before, booked for gigs and at least had float (money) to spend. I lost people that I believed were my true and closest friends. Call it betrayal or their lack of loyalty.
I lost everything including my drive and determination. Nothing made sense to me. I became rebellious even towards my own beloved mother that has seen me through thick and thin

Failed relationships

L-jay shared that he also lost two great relationships, one after the other. And also parted ways with artists that worked under his label. Eventually when corona hit he saw himself hopping from one house to the other due to rent arrears. He had to shut down his label as well.

Due to mental instability I could not even keep up with my relationships and fell out of two (one after the other) that I believed in so much. Yes, I lost those that I believed were my life partners. I fell out with artists working with me under my label and even ended up with a shut down of the label, all because I could not even handle myself.

When Corona hit, I found myself house hopping severally, too stressed to stay alone not to mention the landlords dues. My vehicle parked for months, where is the fuel?

Good Samaritans

The singer did not shy away from admitting that he was getting help from well-wishers. Even though he prefers to deal with his issues by himself.

No upkeep, no peace, there has been nothing but favors from a few Samaritan’s. I’m the kind of a person that doesn’t talk much and that prefer to deal with issues on my own, I never really open up I keep things to myself no matter the situation.
It has been a rough season for me. I cannot even write it all down melted in emotion

I did not quit the gospel industry

Maasai also made it clear that he did not quit the gospel industry as he gets that question a lot.

Many have asked why I left the Gospel industry, let me make it clear today that I did NOT leave Gospel, I left the industry. But God is still my number one, I will sing and praise His Name every day of my life because I’m the only one who understands where He has brought me from

The singer concluded by thanking the people who have walked with him through the dark season. And he has promised to come back bigger and better.

Dear men

Dear men, I shouldn’t even have to tell you this, but in a world full of man ups and grow some balls I feel like I need to tell you that it’s okay to reach out. It’s okay to struggle. It is okay to ask for help. It’s okay to break down. And you certainly do NOT need to accept abuse from your partner or anyone else just because you’re a man and (as people claim) “you should deal with it like a real man”.

You don’t have to struggle in silence. You don’t have to do this alone. Emotions and pain have no gender. We need to be encouraging men to speak out and seek support, not letting them suffer in silence.

By Wanjiru Mbaru

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