KAMENE GORO NA ANDREW KIBE?! WUEH!

Kamene Goro…..Andrew Kibe

You can gerrit,

I can gerrit,

Anyone can gerrit.

This blog is probably going to be one big question mark (I give opinions, not verdicts so just roll with it). Now that we’re clear on that… Let’s get to the udaku bit.

“allegedly”

“ALLegedly”

“ALLEGEDLY”

Kiss 100’s show “Morning Kiss” hosted by Kamene Goro and Andrew Kibe might just be a overtime job too. (See what I did there?)

I know you guys are wondering why I’m covering a 23 week old story (before Australia,WW3 and The Rona happened) … Lakini it was just too good to let go so….

It all started when…

…a member of the BNN Witness Protection Program (BNNWPP for short) stumbled upon some unexpected tea. Apparently… this witness reported that that he (I’ll explain why I thought it was a he in a sec) was cruising with his cousin along Lang’ata road and spotted Kamene Goro and Andrew Kibe making out in a car. This dude even went ahead to say hi to the peeps in the alleged car (which was a Mercedes c200 by the way) because they’re fans obviously… “Kamene Goro and Andrew Kibe” being the good peeps that they are, rolled down their windows, waved back and skidaddled.

Now this is why I believe this is a man speaking.

Never, ever …

…. have I seen a woman use the word “pekejeing” in a casual conversation. Na hapo hunitoi.

By the way this story would have ended here, had it not been the pinch of
Ketepa (aka our second lead) that was thrown into the already boiling pot of tea. Kamene Goro uploaded two videos on her Instagram in guess what…

…. a freaking Benz.

I am not one for car interiors but I know for a fact that Mercedes cars are all about the interior. So kamene in one video, was headed for dunda in Elementaita (wengine wetu hizi jina tulijulia tu kwa kitabu ya GHC) and in the other she was just chilling and talking about hate and constructive criticism (to be honest, it was almost psychic for her to kinda see this blog coming)… you know, when she talked about constructive criticism. (what did they call it in Fasihi? Taswira?). You can watch the whole video and the other receipts I might not include on Edgar Obare’s story.

Anyhu… may the story continue,

because all guns are going Jamaican after this.

Edgar Obaried, and the modoz came running. Before I start, as earlier mentioned, I only picked the receipts that shouted at me. Get the rest via the link above.

Haaaaya,

…Kasonge.

Exhibit A: The Mystery girl from Clarett

Some girl from the the BNNWPP came forward and talked about Kamene Goro and Andrew Kibe talking back in ze day. So at one time,Andrew Kibe called her and said that he was around her local and that she should come over. A few sentences later, Kamene Goro (who was audible in the background) grabs Andrew’s Kibe’s phone and spews bile into the mouthpiece asking questions like:

“Do you love this sh*t?”

“Are you high right now?”

“You ever get nervous?”

“Are you single?”

Lol…. Don’t quote me on that. I got carried away.

What she really said was…

“Who are you? what do you want with my man?”

I wish I was lying but here’s the proof:

Exhibit B: Inertia

“An object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by another force”
-The law of inertia.

What I’m trying to say is that hands flew in this part of the story

So, in Elementaita during the usual dundas, Andrew Kibe’s mama slapped Kamene Goro. Hio nayo ni fact, it’s even talked about by other tabloids and confirmed by Kamene Goro herself. It was also noted that Andrew Kibe’s mama was visibly pissed and jealous based on her remarks. Receipts zenu ndio hizo…

Exhibit C: The Nose Ring

Ok…This isn’t the most convincing part of the story but I just thought I should dissect it ndio tumalize hii blog na adabu.

Before I talk about this however, let me explain the contents of the screenshots and probably send a few. You can check the rest out here.

Here’s set A from Andrew Kibe’s DMs with some chille from the stories:

and then we have… Set B.

Now lemme explain why I don’t believe Set A and Set B are the same person:

Theory #1

If you are an overthinker like me, you tend to profile people based on the way they text (I call it a texting vibe”). The grammar, punctuation, use of short forms tend to always remain consistent to how the person talks in real life…

In other words someone that uses “your” doesn’t just change to using “ua”. Almost in the same way kuna mtu atatumia emoji ya kucheka na mwingine akuambie “heheheh”. It’s always one or the other, never both….

Are we together mpaka hapo?

With that in mind rudi to our sets of chats up there.

and tell me that Kibe is the same person in both instances…

… I doubt it.

Theory #2

Enyewe we all know Andrew Kibe is a he-ho who hangs around alot of bad bi*ches. Akikataa wale wana nose ring si atakufa untouched?

Verdict: Kamene Goro

But alas… The big question mark that is Kamene Goro and Andrew Kibe. You figure it out on your own. but in the meantime, I’m calling out to anyone available with the receipts to finish this story. Heck, hata mimi nataka kutulia akili. Talk to Edgar Obare here

But before I go:

Hii game hapana taka makasiriko…

Kamene Goro also sounds salty as hell when Xtiandela calls her during Edgar Obare’s live on Youtube. Ebu check it out…

I’ll leave you to be the judge of that..

In other news,

To the Tea Pickers Association;

How good do you think “Haenter becomes the hunted” would look as the title to my next story?

On a scale of 1-10.

….in the comment section

Bye for now,

I have more stories to write.

Here’s my new Instagram account by the way.

By Baba Mboga.