By Baba Mboga
Yaani it’s official.
Hatugwesani an nyinyi…
Y’all remember when “osha ass” was actually a thing?
…Yeah, me neither.
But I stumbled across this on Edgar’s stories and I just pen this down.
I know this is far from what you’re used to,
Not to mentions it’s low-key ancient AF
Lakini poleni aki…
Kalamu ikipenda imependa.
So… unless you’re new to the social media game, you should’ve realized that Kenyan Twitter and Instagram remain to be two factions that remain ununited
Like Gryffindor and Slytherin,
Targaryen and Baratheon,
Kama mafuta na maji… yaani hawapatanangi.
Kinda like cops and rich kids that flex too much…
KOT keeps us safe from external threats,
but can still take down the average citizen for doing something they never did or worse…
Purely based on suspicion..
Instagram act like the richkids…
Typing “goals” in the comments while saying “mtaachana tu” behind their backs…
the typical shit that happens between “rich” peers.
But in the twirra steets,
No one is too untouchable
No account too big.
Like in the case of one cityboy dude that really felt the need to offer his groceries up for the munching….
This is about you Ian Mogaka.
“In the beninging was City boy…”
Our typical tweeps story starts like all tales of life,
Yup kids, endeni mlale because this one starts in the bedroom
So according to our BNN tea pickers,
the story goes a little lite this:
City boy was waving his toondaloonda around,
And apparently gawad to his tweep(s)
Well because bad news travels faster apparently,
It was quickly concluded that his member of parliament was rather “underrepresented”
I feel like I rushed too quick into this one.
Ebu tuanze vizuri sasa na receipts.
Once upon a time…
..Ok reaaaally that long ago
I’m talking kedo 10 weeks ago
A tweet was spotted:
It wasn’t too late after this that “Things fell apart.”
It’s Chinua Achebe by the way.
Back to the story:
MAkasiriko flew… communications were made,
Screenshots were taken
But before that, a wise quote from a man whose advice we need almost too much…
Which if I may emphasize, Is one of the advantages of being anonymous.
Can’t be too careful in these streets.
So we have one Tracy Wathira (who has been christened Mama Mboga for obvious reasons)…
Ok… It’s not because I’m Baba Mboga or anything.
Y’all remember this “Booty like groceries?” song from a while back?
So we have Mama Mboga and anoda tweep talking about this brother’s tundaloonda,
It’s the way that they compare notes that hurts lmao.
and they even dragged personality into the whole thing.
Ladies, is this what you do when we say our goodnights and roll over to sleep.
Y’all can’t be out here doing this to us wachameni…
Here are said screenshots…
The twirra talkshow host with City boy…
So… There’s a series of videos on Edgar Obare’s story.
This twirra modo crossed lanes to Instagram to deliver one hell of an instalive session with Ian Mogaka.
I wanna be him when I grow up lol…
He put Cityboyy in a corner with questions of the hows and heys of getting his groceries munched on.
This is for you myguy.
You killed that shit lmao.
Mama Mboga retaliates..
Wathira legit did not let this shit go…
I don’t know whether it was to save face or just ride the clout train but for one reason or another,
She went on Twirra and posted this:
And as expected, she came through…
Si Nairobi ina wadaku…
Two sausand viewers juu ya udaku ya fornicators?
Here’s a few screenshots from the story but the whole fiasco went down in Edgar Obare’s story.
Some people called it out as a move for clout but idk…
Check it out here and give me your opinion.
My take on this…
Shot out to Mama Mboga by the way,
Why? You may ask…
Why tf not?
Who doesn’t like a kinky girl?
It takes alot of gut and character to say the things she said on that live…
Vile ulianza hii mambo yote na screenshot ulikuwa unafikiria?
I was about to type a whole other shitload of questions but za wawili kitandani siezi ingilia.
Did I even give credits to the tea picker that spotted this?
Here’s my Instagram by the way.
Now that I’m done writing I’m thinking to myself…
Was all of this necessary?
Well… you’re here aren’t you?
Exactly what I thought too…
Check out some of my other stories