I think we are so much concentrated on single mothers that we forget to focus on the absentee fathers as a society.

Certainly, we are aware of the lady next door who is a single mother. And if you ask her of her baby daddy she will brush you off.

Different women have different reasons as to why their baby daddies are absent.

A lady who allegedly sired a baby with Denis Itumbi opened up to Edgar Obare about their strained relationship. And disclosed that Itumbi has never even seen the kid and has also been an absent father.

Her case elicited a discussion on the same with one follower asking Edgar Obare to ask men why they are deadbeat or absent. And here are some reactions.

financial struggles

One guy said that he had a son with his first love from college. But he was broke like any other fresh out of college guy. So after a little argument, the lady opted to leave and hid the boy from the father for over five years. So now that the guy is doing well off financially, the lady has magically popped up and is seeking child support.

financial demands

Another guy opened up on dealing with a baby mama who was always asking for money claiming that the son is sick. She always said my son is sick nitumie 5k every week or after two weeks. So the guy says after some time he got tired of always sending money and gave up on parenting.


Well, another culprit said that he asked the lady to abort. But she decided not to since she had been having miscarriages and that might have been her only chance at getting pregnant. His excuse being that he barely has money to take care of himself and thus taking care of a newborn was not near his plans.

One more guy also opened up which is rare because mostly it’s always the ladies contributing to the topics of discussion. He too was abandoned by the baby mama because he was struggling financially and also denied access of the baby. However, seven years later the baby mama has popped up demanding child support because he is now well off despite having three other kids from different men. And so according to him some women are just but taking advantage.

In-laws from hell

Well, this other absentee father was barred from seeing the kid and being in his life by the lady’s family. Because he was broke and could barely manage to support his child.

Well, other than finances and families health conditions are also rendering kids fatherless.

Health conditions

Two ladies disclosed that their baby daddies went missing in action after their children were diagnosed with special conditions. Here is one of the stories as it appeared.

I’m a single mom and my son is severely autistic nonverbal and dependent on me. I’ve taken care of my son alone since he was 1 year and 2 months old. The father walked away after our son’s diagnosis. I was in a relationship with him for 13 years and we had planned to have a child.

When he walked away I did what I could to make sure our son is okay. His family also stopped being concerned or even interested in our son.

Now since 2018, I’ve been bedridden and I’m on hospice care. My condition is terminal and I’m looking for someone willing to adopt my son or an orphanage that is properly equipped to take care of him. Yet his father is alive and well.

This is such a touching story honestly speaking. And maybe I will just wind this up with words from one of the fans

If you do not want to be a father, use a condom, get a vasectomy or get the contraceptives yourself and ensure she takes it.

What are your thoughts on this matter?

By Wanjiru Mbaru

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